Beyond Single Labels: An Introduction to Understanding Intersectionality in Disability and Sexuality

We know what sexuality is, we know what disability is. What happens when both exist at the same time, in the same person?

Let’s go for a walk. Imagine yourself at the heart of a bustling city. Skyscrapers tower above and roads stretch out in many directions, each leading to communities with their own cultures, histories and experiences. This city is a metaphor for society and each road represents a different aspect of identity. At the intersections, where these roads meet, you'll find the concept of intersectionality. This is where we start our journey today, exploring the crossroads of sexuality and disability.

Intersectionality: The Crossroads of Identity

At the crossroads of identity, in a bustling city, lies the symbol of our complex society. Each road bears a name representing an aspect of who we are - race, gender, sexuality, ability, and more. Iintersectionality, a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, is a concept that helps us understand how our social and political identities merge to shape our experiences.

Today, I want to talk about one of those intersections - sexuality and disability. For those of us who identify as LGBTQIA+ and disabled, understanding intersectionality is so important, to grasp how our diverse identities intertwine to form a multi-faceted reality, often overlooked in discussions solely focused on disability or sexuality. We mustn't ignore it because it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable or confusing.

I used to exist within one identity at a time, separated instead of included, jumping from one camp to another depending on the situation and environment. But that denied my complex, rich life experiences.

I’m proud of every aspect of who I am, embracing each beautiful facet and the way they intertwine. I’m tired of hiding half of myself in the shadows. I can’t separate my disability from my sexuality; they’re woven together in countless ways. To accept myself wholly, I must exist as a whole.

The Shared Experiences: Marginalisation, Lack of Representation, and More

At the intersection of disability and sexuality, we face a unique and complex set of challenges. Not only do we struggle with issues of marginalisation, underrepresentation, discrimination and difficulties related to intimacy and sexuality but we also confront the daily struggles of finding our way around a world that was never designed with our needs in mind. Imagine attempting to get around streets and public spaces that were never intended to accommodate wheelchairs or other access needs, feeling the constant frustration of coming up against societal biases and systemic barriers.

As a wheelchair user and proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community, discrimination comes in various forms. From encountering LGBTQIA+ spaces that are inaccessible and fail to consider mine or other types of disability, to facing prejudiced attitudes that question the validity of my sexuality, there are many hurdles. People often see the chair before they see me, and when they learn about my sexuality, it's as if their minds simply cannot process the "complexity" that is me. I am left either invisible or hyper-visible and it all gets too much for some.

Adding to the layers of complexity is the fact that my life partner presents in a male body, while my relationship with gender is fluid. This further challenges societal norms and preconceptions, causing some people to become overwhelmed or unable to understand the intricacies of my identity.

Inclusive Sex Education: A Road Less Traveled

Traditional sex educational programs have quite simply ignored the needs of marginalised groups. By not addressing the complexities of human sexuality inclusively, these programs reinforce harmful stereotypes and undermine the work of those looking for acceptance in society.

The way that traditional sex education excludes and overlooks the specific needs of those of us at the intersection of disability and sexuality has many consequences. It reinforces prejudices, marginalises, stigmatises and denies us the knowledge and resources to navigate our identities and relationships confidently.

However, what if we were to reimagine sex education as a guiding "map" through the complexities of human sexuality? An inclusive sex education curriculum becomes a compass that empowers all children , regardless of ability or identity, equipping them with the knowledge and confidence they need to make informed choices and cultivate fulfilling relationships.

I can't help but wonder how different my life might have been if I had received an education like that. The complete absence of any discussion about sexuality in the context of disability firmly established the belief that the two should never intersect. The fear of disability is closely tied to the fear of losing your sexual identity - a misconception perpetuated by every facet of society I encountered during my younger life.

Inclusive sex education is absolutely essential in order to provide support for everybody. This involves using diverse range of teaching methods, tools and resources that cater for marginalised groups. Teachers can use visual aids, adaptive technologies and accessible materials to ensure equal access to information and encourage and build more inclusivity for those with disabilities.

A comprehensive curriculum should include a wide range of topics, such as gender identity, sexual orientation, consent and guidance around healthy relationships. By addressing these subjects with empathy and respect, a space should be created where everyone feels seen, valued and empowered. Inclusive sex education opens opportunities for meaningful discussions that challenge stereotypes, encouraging acceptance and understanding.

Although examples of inclusive sex education initiatives are being seen, the job is far from done. Teachers and advocates must prioritise inclusivity and embrace diverse perspectives, experiences and identities to help create a compassionate and equitable society that values everyone.

I want to see a world we have inclusive sex education that empowers our children - regardless of ability or identity - to find a way through the complexities of human sexuality with confidence, respect and understanding. No child should grow up fearing disability or questioning why their unique sexuality wasn't addressed in the so-called 'educational' context.

Challenges and Triumphs at the Intersection

At the crossroads of disability and sexuality, we face trials that test our strength. We must, yet again, rely on our resilience, community and the comfort of self-soothing and sessions of self-discovery. We're forced, like pioneers, to blaze the trail for others, advocating for visibility, inclusivity and equity. While yes, of course we understand the importance of shouldering responsibilities - and often embrace them with joy - there are moments when our wounded hearts simply long for love and acceptance without the need to battle for it.

It might feel too late for some of us to impact our formative years, but for the children who rely on us to shape a better world, we need to find the strength to carry on the fight a little longer.

Understanding intersectionality goes way beyond acknowledging the many hardships. We've got to recognise the power and the sheer diversity of experiences at these crossroads. There's a duty to listen, learn and use the knowledge gathered to create a more accessible and inclusive society.

Navigating our way through this city of life, it still amazes me that every intersection holds a different story. Halt the traffic, quieten the city and listen to the the tales woven at the crossroads of sexuality and disability. Their stories are chapters in our collective societal saga, ones that deserve to be heard, understood, and respected.