A Scary Case of Comparis-Itus

My name is Sandie and I suffer with Comparis-Itus.

It’s hit me hard this week. I forgot to stay in my lane. I got so focused on what was going wrong in my life that I got easily distracted and started looking around me at the successes of others and comparing their curated perfection to the skewed version of my own reality.

It’s so true that what we focus on, we feel. I was focusing on my lack and coming up very much feeling like a failure.

And it was horrible

Instead of looking at all that I had achieved all I could see was others’ apparant success, even as wave after wave of knock backs bowled me over as I tried to stay upright.

It felt like a heavy weight over my head, blinding me to anything other than feeling suffocated in failure. Not a pretty picture I’m painting here, but I want you to understand where I was when, struggling for a fresh breath, I finally pushed my head out from under the duvet of gloom and remembered there was another perspective.

It isn’t even just a matter of focusing on yourself. I just wanted to get some joy back in my life, after all that gloom. I wanted to laugh again and not feel so much like a failure. I wanted to go back to what made me happy.

So, with no agenda, I played, I created and I made myself laugh over and over and I found myself again. I remembered who I am and what I am trying to do.

I spent time looking at what I had achieved so far, thinking about my goals and where I wanted to be and how I wanted to get there and then I reset, keeping one thing at the front of my mind.

To enjoy the journey. Otherwise, what is the point, I mean, seriously. I just wanted to get back to enjoying the damn journey. 

We can all fall under the spell of Comparis-Itus but we can get ourselves out of it, too. This is our life and it needs to be about us. Keep our minds full of our own activities, feed it so full that there isn’t room to think of anyone else, cram every little space with tasty little morsels to nibble on so there’s just no time for anyone else.

Other people might look like that have it all happening, they might even actually have it all going on, but that doesn’t mean that your life isn’t working, isn’t wonderful. It isn’t a case of either/or. Spend your time looking at what you have, not what they have, use your energy working towards your own goals not on wishing for what other people have. That’ll just exhaust you and you won’t have moved one step in the direction of your own dreams.

I have so much more I want to say, but it would take a whole book and maybe this is more a conversation to be had over a cup of tea so I’ll leave it with just one final, very important, very serious note, and that is even if your husband doesn’t think you’re funny, as long as you think you are then that’s all that matters. You know, your husband might recognise genius when it’s staring him right in the face.

Anyway, I know I’m bloody hilarious. Just saying.